Spring Thoughts (2015)

Spring has sprung!
The grass is getting green (sort of)!
The allergies are getting mean!

No blogs have been written for a while. I guess there just haven't been any Grammy Thoughts. Here are some random spring thoughts.

Health-wise we both remain pretty stable - with the stupid little boxes of pills that we set up on a weekly basis and try to remember to take on a daily basis. NEVER thought I'd see that day. The oral chemo keeps the GIST fairly stable for Vern. Along with his other meds he does OK. Betty's BP has been higher than it should be, even with meds, so we are trying new meds.

We lost our JazzPurr in November of 2013. Betty did not do very well without a puss in the house so after Thanksgiving she went to the Heartland Pet Connection and found Inky Miau, a gorgeous black kitty who reminds us so very much of Ollie. She is young and hence still has a lot of kitten behaviors, but we love her and she brings joy and smiles to our house.

Yesterday was World Down Syndrome Day. We give thanks for Cael in our lives - precious little guy! He has come so far. He now has a g-tube AND a Malone (appendicostomy for the bowel). He does fairly well with it all.He is such a love and has taught us all about unconditional love.

We need to travel - especially to California! We need to spend time with the granddaughters before they are all grown up and no longer want to be around Grammy and Grampy. Both of us have been so busy with work that the time has just not been there. It is getting harder and harder for both of us to travel - especially on someone else's timetable (airline, etc). We'll see what the summer brings.

This is Vern's last semester teaching - either lecture or online. He gave up on the lecture last fall (just too problematic with the health issues) and this spring is his last online class. It has been a nice 10 year plus run. The students frustrate him tremendously - can't read, can't write, can't think their way out of a paper bag! All very frustrating for a highly literate philosopher.

Cheese-moving time again! The ELS Office where I work is actually, really going to move permanently to new digs - off in the cow pasture...OK, so not quite that far, but to the southwest end of campus, no longer in the center of things. We will have a nice new office (a little small, but we'll make it do) and storage, and several classrooms. I actually am looking forward to the move and having everything new - and to getting rid of years of junk accumulation.

Hence spring cleaning time at work! I have been working on cleaning house since last summer - a file drawer here and there, consolidation of files, etc. This past week I worked on the desk stuff - file drawers and files put in some semblance of order and some even emptied in anticipation. The junk drawers (the ones with the pencils, pens, stampers, envelopes, toothbrushes, hairbrushes, paper clips, etc) really got cleaned with a lot of stuff being pitched! A 21 year accumulation can definitely be a mess! Really, I am getting ready to MOVE!

Monday, March 23, 2015 (tomorrow) is my 21st work anniversary at CCC. I never in my wildest dreams thought I would be there this long. I fully intended to retire at 65 or so...but then I liked it and didn't have anything else to do, so I stayed. And now it is impossible to leave as we need the insurance for the meds Vern is taking (cost on Medicare Drug plan is still pretty prohibitive). I still like the job. The arrival of a new boss in December of 2013 was a positive. My brain still functions so that I can get the work accomplished. So I am working...who knows for how much longer.

Now I am looking forward to a renewal of spirit - spring, a new office, and so much more!

50 years in a Nutshell

50 years...memories fade but here are a few of mine.

A trip home to California in a 57 Dodge. A scary midnight drive between Flagstaff and Phoenix on AZ Hwy 89A through Jerome, me at the wheel and madder than a wet hen at the sleeping groom. Family traveling to California for the wedding and staying in friends of my parents’ homes. The Kooy family traveling across country in a new Buick station wagon from New Brunswick, NJ with Dad and Mom, Grandpa and Grandma Kooy (picked up in Lansing, IL), Craig, Daryl, Gwyn and Brian. Mother cooking steaks for everyone for the rehearsal dinner. Grandma Carlson going to Yucaipa from South Holland, IL to visit her brother and then coming for the wedding. Uncle Walter and Cousin Lucille coming from Portland, OR for the wedding (the last time I saw Uncle). Taking the family to Knott’s Berry Farm – watching the beautiful pink flamingos. Singing to each other at the wedding (groom with beautiful bass, bride with off-key contralto). Maid of Honor Phillis Wilson (Tiel) and Best Man Stephen Struikmans – friend of bride from high school, and college classmate of groom who was from CA. Organist Marguerite Cloo, friend of bride from grade school and college. Reception at Orange Hotel in Ontario, CA – 170 guests, prime rib dinner, Swiss band, table piled with gifts. Wedding night at Sleepy Inn (can’t remember the actual name – but on Euclid) in Ontario, CA. Opening gifts and trying to keep track of them (used many of them for years and always thought about the giver, especially the toaster that lasted for 35 years from Bill and Alice Vander Pol and the throw rugs the probably were used for 40 years from Fritz and Alice Thommen). Packing wedding gifts in trunk and back seat of the Dodge. Springs on the car breaking in Ashfork, AZ on the way back to Pella, IA. Calling Daddy to bail us out. Daddy getting springs in LA and bringing them to garage in Ashfork for the garage there to put on (they couldn’t get any for three days – quicker for Daddy to bring them from CA). Saying good-bye to parents once again. From there much of the next 50 years is a blur!

Finishing college (with groom trying to get GPA up to a graduating standard). Taking GREs. Both actually getting into graduate school (University of Nebraska of all places and University of California, Los Angeles – we took the latter). Renting a small ‘single’ apartment in Westwood, CA. Walking to and from campus daily. Traveling ‘home’ on weekends (sometimes fighting So Cal traffic, sometimes not) to Chino to parents. Transferring graduate schools – to Claremont Graduate School. Searching desperately for a teaching job – nobody would hire a female history teacher – what could she coach. Getting a job in Chino teaching 5^th grade – principal was Garland Mendenhall, father of HS classmate Sandy Mendenhall. Great graduate school experiences. Great teaching experiences – with students like Theresa Nyenhuis, Darlene Bothof, Steve Lanting, Marta Escanuelas, and so many more. Teaching part-time at Pasadena City College. The birth of Heidi Marie in 1969. Searching for full-time teaching job. Moving to Hastings, NE for a full-time job. The birth of Elizabeth Anne. The granting of the long-sought Ph.D. Learning the teaching job would not be there beyond two years. Fruitlessly searching for another teaching job. The birth of Jan Frederick. Seeking work – anything. Local school district didn’t like the odds on the mother of three small children. Working construction for the parent of a former student. Going into construction on our own. Building our own home. Substitute teaching. Any job to keep food on the table. Children becoming involved in swimming. Traveling to CA often when parents were in nursing home. Taking job as Executive Secretary for Midwestern Swimming. Working in a cabinet shop for a good friend. Becoming foreman of a mill shop in Grand Island. Working again in cabinet shop. Full-time job as administrative assistant at Central Community College – with insurance benefits! Janitor at First Presbyterian Church during construction project. Back to school at Central Community College for a certificate in Computer-Aided Drafting. Jobs in Omaha and commuting home on weekends. Retirement and coming home to an adjunct teaching job in Ethics at the local community college.

The addition of in-law children. The birth of five beautiful grandchildren.

The ups and downs of some serious health issues for both including a back surgery, artery grafts, hand joint replacement, GIST surgery, seriously broken leg, and return of the GIST with oral chemo.

50 years in a nutshell! What a ride. Mostly not envisioned 50 years ago!

50 Years Together

August 9, 1963

August 11, 2013

Can you believe it? Fifty years together? We are still amazed that so many years have passed by.
We spent a wonderful weekend in August celebrating with family and friends. We think it was the most amazing time we have had together in our entire married lives.

All three children and five grandchildren were home for the weekend. Vern's sister Gwyn (the only one in attendance who was actually at the wedding 50 years ago) and her son Micah were able to join us too. Family activities included eating together, enjoying the Hastings Waterpark, an early celebration of granddaughter Athena's 6th birthday, celebrating Kool Aid Days with the rest of Hastings, a prime rib buffet dinner at Taylor's with family and friends (our wedding reception was also a prime rib dinner for 170 people - only 30 at Taylor's), a family rocket-launch in celebration of 50 years courtesy of grandson Zane and his dad Adrian, a wonderful reception at First Presbyterian Church with at least 140 people in attendance (they just kept coming and coming), family dinner together, and one last trip to Amigos with all except Jan and family - just for old times' sake. We couldn't have asked for anything more! Great times together with beautiful week-end weather, surrounded by those whom we hold dear in our lives.

Thank you to all who came to celebrate with us. Thank you to those who sent wishes. Thank you to those who have supported us along our 50-year journey together. Thank you to the Lord of all Being who has given us these years together and wonderful memories to cherish.

Moving - AGAIN!

Once again we are packing up our office and moving temporarily while some areas of our building are being remodeled. Again, my cheese is being moved and I don’t like it – not one little bit.

The first 1/3 of 2013 has been a very difficult time in my life. Starting in January Vern was diagnosed with a recurrence of the cancer that he had starting in 2002. Yes, 9 years. Yes, scans were done for 5 years and everything was clear in March of 2009, and yes, now there is a large tumor again – GIST – and this one is in a spot that gives him a lot of digestive problems. Treatment has started – oral chemo. He has been pretty tired, so not much gets done except the necessities – like grading students’ work and finishing the semester, getting to doctor’s appointments, having blood tests, CT scans, and if he is able, a little grocery shopping and a few errands. That puts more of the monkey on my back.

Work has also been tough. Very unexpectedly my Dean resigned, effective immediately mid-March. That makes our office feel like a rudderless ship, although the person appointed to hold things together in the interim has been doing a fantastic job. Take that with upcoming workshops that I support that have been left hanging, and trying to pick up the pieces so that they all remain in place – well, daunting and stressful. I still intend to do my very best work to support all of this, but I am fearful something will slip through the cracks (notes, notes, notes and more notes). Add to this the fact that our production has been slipping BADLY for the last 5 or more years and that production no longer can justify three full-time administrative assistants, more stress has been added. My co-worker who has been loaned to another department half time for the last few months will be moving to that department permanently leaving us with one less full-time person. Guess who gets to pick up the slack? Guess I didn’t have enough on my plate. The hardest thing is that the two of us have sat side by side for 19 years. She taught me everything I know. She told me I had a year to learn everything. She’s given me 19 years – and I am still learning. We have grown so close we finish each other’s sentences. We know what each other is thinking. When one needs help, the other just automatically kicks in and lends a hand. I am not quite sure how I will deal without her to teach me some more. Thankfully, she is only an email or phone call away – if I need more teaching I will survive – but I am truly saddened by everything that has happened in the last few months.

And now we are moving this week to temporary quarters for the summer until we can get back in our office and then a planned permanent move for mid-2014. This old lady who never did like change even when she was young and fairly adaptable is now facing mountains of changes. I think I need to go buy a blood pressure device and begin checking the BP every day – before I blow sky high On a more serious note, I think I just need to walk away from the stress, literally! Walk 20 – 30 minutes every day. But with two jobs I always seem to find an excuse not to make the time to take care of myself.

Note to self: Walk, Walk, Walk! No excuses! Just DO IT!

Valentine's Day 2013

Fifty years ago today Vern proposed that we get married and spend the rest of our lives together. Fifty years ago today Betty accepted that proposal. There has been a lot of water under the bridge since 1963. There have been a lot of ups and downs. But while discussing the last 50 years, we both decided that the last 50 years have been pretty good to us.


We have three fantastic children, several fantastic in-law kids, and five of the most beautiful grandchildren on the planet. Vern earned a Ph.D. and has been able to weather several job changes over the years and now is able to do what he always wanted to do – teach – in his retirement years. Betty finally earned the M.A. (40 years to the day after graduating from college), although in a different area than she started with in 1965. She has had a teaching career and has spent many productive years as an Executive Secretary and Administrative Assistant.

Health-wise we have been very blessed for most of our married life. Living for 31 years without a health insurance net and raising three kids without insurance is pretty amazing. There were three caesareans, two tonsillectomies, one hernia surgery, one back surgery, and several MRIs to diagnose cluster headaches – all before we had any health insurance. We were able to pay every one of those bills ourselves. Of course we have aged a bit in the last 19 years (the years that we have had health insurance) and we have had artery grafts, joint replacement in one hand, removal of a GIST (with many CT scans and a gift of nine years), several biopsies, a broken leg (with surgery and steel) and now the return of the GIST. Even with all of that, we do think we have been blessed. Our special little grandson has had so very many health issues in his 5 ½ years, but we still feel blessed to have the little one in our lives (although we don’t get to see him very often).

We don’t think we realized what we were getting into 50 years ago. We thought we had a plan for our lives and never really planned for contingencies if those plans did not materialize. Even though most of the plans did not materialize, we just rolled with the punches, did the best we could under the circumstances and continued to learn what we had to learn to make life work. We have loved each other on most occasions and also really disliked each other on some occasions. We don’t think any marriage that involves two really strong-willed personalities can avoid that dislike on some occasions. Those who know us well know that it has been a rather volatile relationship as well as a very independent/dependent relationship. We have appreciated each other’s gifts and have learned to trust each other and use each other’s strengths to balance our own weaknesses.

We will cherish the rest of the years we are given together. If it be God’s will, we will spend more together. We will cherish the good memories and let the bad go. And we will continue to love each other – even more each passing day.

Cheese Moved – Again – Well, Maybe Not Very Far

I hate my cheese being moved. After a year of relatively good health for both of us, 2013 has begun with some serious issues for Vern – which, of course, entails ‘my’ cheese being moved.

Nine years ago in March a very large (size of a small football) Gastro Intestinal Stromal Tumor was removed from Vern’s abdomen along with a section of colon. At that point we felt very blessed – no chemo, no radiation, just CT scans every 3 months, then every 6 months, then annually for five years. We have taken each additional year as a gift.

Last fall the gastro-intestinal discomfort became a little more intense than usual, but antacids seemed to keep him somewhat comfortable. A January physical showed anemia – that is what was so bad 9 years ago that triggered a colonoscopy and then a CT scan that eventually revealed the tumor. Immediately after the physical the family doctor scheduled a CT scan which showed ‘several’ tumors this time resembling the GIST from 9 years ago. A visit to the surgeon in Omaha who did the operation 9 years ago was disappointing – ‘surgery is not an option this time, my friend’. The main tumor in the upper left quadrant of the abdomen was already larger than the one that was removed 9 years ago. At that point a treatment plan was outlined – a CT-guided needle biopsy to confirm the GIST and an appointment with an oncologist at the St Francis clinic in Hastings to get treatment started.

The treatment will now consist of a pill a day chemo regimen. The drug is Gleevec. We are told that GISTs respond fairly well to the drug and the tumors do shrink. Therefore we have added this wonder drug to the rest of Vern’s medications.

OK…my cheese didn’t get moved very far. I thought we would be facing surgery in Omaha (no apartment there this time as Vern has retired), and a lot of travel and time off from work. We feel truly blessed – again. Treatment can be done here in Hastings for now. Tests can be done locally. Insurance will cover most of the expenses. The drugs are not cheap – I nearly choked when I saw the co-pay, let along the actual price of the drug. I do not know how anyone without insurance can handle this type of expense. I guess that is why so many people have to file bankruptcy after serious illnesses.

We will take one day at a time. We will try not to whine about the moved cheese. We will be thankful for the gift of each new day and hopefully celebrate the major milestones/anniversaries that 2013 will bring. We will pray that the medication gives Vern some comfort and that the tumors begin to shrink.

With a thankful heart that we can still see some humor and blessings in the ‘moved cheese’!

(Next ‘moved cheese’ – having to move work office – AGAIN – temporarily – for building remodel.)

Spirit, Move Me!

Written December 26, 2012

When I was a lot younger, the days and weeks before Christmas were filled with a frenetic burst of energy – for shopping, baking, wrapping, decorating, cleaning, cooking, letter writing...and more. Nowadays, the spirit has to move me before I do anything remotely connected to those previously enjoyed activities.

Last week I did bake cinnamon rolls – well I had to – to go with the chili I planned for Saturday evening supper. Ah, left-over rolls will be fine for Christmas – no need to bake any more for Christmas morning. What, no cinnamon ring with cherries and nuts on top of the frosting? NO. Spirit didn’t move me.

Presents? What are those? We do not need one more ‘thing’ in this house! Besides, we got a new refrigerator after Thanksgiving and a new microwave a week later (OK – so the 36 yr old microwave gave up the ghost, and the 26 yr old refrigerator did the same). Those were just early presents, right? And so Santa came early with a new dress coat and several shirts for Vern – mail order comes when it comes, not necessarily on Christmas Eve. And so Vern got a new jacket, pants, shirt and tie early – OK, he had to have something to wear to church in Sioux Center after we left the Sunday clothes hanging in the closet at home. More presents needed? NO!

And office staff? Love my co-workers but I do not need one more Tchotchke in my house! A box of Lipton teabags from one co-worker for my birthday? Now that is the best present she can give me! Last year I tried to disengage from the Christmas giving in the office but did not get the job done – but did accomplish that this year. Instead, the money I would have spent on gifts went to the Open Door Mission, Crossroads, a Giving Tree for seniors, and the Joy Offering at church. OK, so my own children did get checks...and they could buy what was needed for the little ones. Athena thanked us for the new sheets for her new bed.

I hate shopping! Yes, I went to Wal-Mart on my way home from work on Friday and thought maybe...but, the Spirit did NOT move me. I waltzed out of that store into the melting mess in the parking lot with nary a purchased item in my hand!

And Christmas decorations? If they get put up, they just have to be put away. OK...I procrastinated and procrastinated and procrastinated. Finally on Christmas Eve morning somebody (NOT ME) went downstairs and brought up the very tiny tree that we have and set it up on the lamp table in front of the window. But guess who had to go find the ornaments for that tree – among the mess of boxes in the storage area that were still in disarray after a sewer disaster last year. OK, I found them and brought them upstairs...and that is as far as *I* went. It was up to somebody else to decorate the tree – and yes, it looks very sweet and festive in our front window – not quite so Scroogie!

And baking! Was I going to do any more? OK...we had a package of raw peanuts in the ‘horse’. On Monday morning before Christmas I did make the famous peanut brittle – used the recipe on the package...but it still is just as fabulous as ever. It is a little smaller batch. Perhaps the husband will not keel over in a diabetic coma if I can keep it out of sight. And yes, I did find a new recipe for gingerbread – so a small batch was made on Monday. BUT...the spirit still has not moved me to frost the darn things.

And cooking...OK, a turkey breast, fresh sweet potatoes, canned corn, some stuffing, canned cranberry sauce (Spirit didn’t move me to make my own...left-overs from last Thanksgiving had to do), and a bought pecan pie. No, we are not going to over-do it. Not for two people. And yes, we have some very nice left-overs for several meals of turkey sandwiches, turkey soup, turkey hash...whatever we can make from left-over turkey. The smells of Chex Mix are now wafting through the house – the Spirit did move me once again.

A long time ago I was somewhat upset with my mother for not doing anything for Christmas. She didn’t put out any decorations or put up a tree. I think I found a recipe for Gingerbread Men – the last one she used and the last time she made them, probably early to mid 70s. I don’t know if she was even 70 at the time. I did not understand what was going on – why she did not continue the giving traditions that had been such a part of her life. I think I remember her saying ‘the spirit didn’t move me’. Hmmmm...like mother, like daughter?

As I grow older, I don’t see the point – if I cook/bake it I have to eat it – and my hips are far too wide now (secretary’s spread). If I don’t want to eat it and give it away, I have to deliver it – and at this time of the year with the ice and snow that can be treacherous – I don’t need a broken leg or hip; we’ve had enough of that with Vern. If I put up the decorations, I have to take them down and put them away – too much work.

So I will just go on my merry way, waiting for the spirit to move me. Oh, by the way, the spirit did move me fairly early to ‘write’ the annual Christmas letter – but the spirit still has not moved me to get the address list out, print the letters, and get them mailed. Maybe this week? Before New Year? Maybe just posting it on Facebook will suffice for 2012! Nah, the Spirit will eventually move me!