Valentine's Day 2013

Fifty years ago today Vern proposed that we get married and spend the rest of our lives together. Fifty years ago today Betty accepted that proposal. There has been a lot of water under the bridge since 1963. There have been a lot of ups and downs. But while discussing the last 50 years, we both decided that the last 50 years have been pretty good to us.


We have three fantastic children, several fantastic in-law kids, and five of the most beautiful grandchildren on the planet. Vern earned a Ph.D. and has been able to weather several job changes over the years and now is able to do what he always wanted to do – teach – in his retirement years. Betty finally earned the M.A. (40 years to the day after graduating from college), although in a different area than she started with in 1965. She has had a teaching career and has spent many productive years as an Executive Secretary and Administrative Assistant.

Health-wise we have been very blessed for most of our married life. Living for 31 years without a health insurance net and raising three kids without insurance is pretty amazing. There were three caesareans, two tonsillectomies, one hernia surgery, one back surgery, and several MRIs to diagnose cluster headaches – all before we had any health insurance. We were able to pay every one of those bills ourselves. Of course we have aged a bit in the last 19 years (the years that we have had health insurance) and we have had artery grafts, joint replacement in one hand, removal of a GIST (with many CT scans and a gift of nine years), several biopsies, a broken leg (with surgery and steel) and now the return of the GIST. Even with all of that, we do think we have been blessed. Our special little grandson has had so very many health issues in his 5 ½ years, but we still feel blessed to have the little one in our lives (although we don’t get to see him very often).

We don’t think we realized what we were getting into 50 years ago. We thought we had a plan for our lives and never really planned for contingencies if those plans did not materialize. Even though most of the plans did not materialize, we just rolled with the punches, did the best we could under the circumstances and continued to learn what we had to learn to make life work. We have loved each other on most occasions and also really disliked each other on some occasions. We don’t think any marriage that involves two really strong-willed personalities can avoid that dislike on some occasions. Those who know us well know that it has been a rather volatile relationship as well as a very independent/dependent relationship. We have appreciated each other’s gifts and have learned to trust each other and use each other’s strengths to balance our own weaknesses.

We will cherish the rest of the years we are given together. If it be God’s will, we will spend more together. We will cherish the good memories and let the bad go. And we will continue to love each other – even more each passing day.